Match Stories

Little Brother Jose and his Big Brother Pablo forged their friendship over Fudrucker's hamburgers, football, movies and tough-love talks. It's helped soften Jose's edges and has taught Pablo patience.

 

The pair met in 1999 through Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Arizona. "We just clicked", they say.

 

Pablo helps his Little Brother with homework, issues at home or in school and has coached him through some difficult times.

 

They have had their ups and downs: they lost touch about a year and a half ago after Jose started hanging out with the wrong crowd, and wasn't fulfilling the obligations of the match.

 

But, they reconnected after Jose decided to make the relationship a priority.

 

"He's had a lot of challenges, but he's coming around," said Pablo. "He falls down, you pick them back up and help him again. Mentoring's not an easy thing. But being a Big Brother it's a powerful thing."

 

Jose says, "He's helped me through rough times. He's a brother. He's helped me change."

Big Brother Scott Deters and Little Brother Talyn

It's a typical Saturday for Bank of America employee Scott Deters and his friend Talyn. The two meet up to hang out and do things together, like projects around the house or partake in yard work. But today, they are having fun and going bowling.

 

These two aren't your typical friends though. What makes this relationship special is the fact that Scott is a Big Brother mentor and has been matched to his Little Brother Talyn for almost five years through Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Arizona.

 

"I became a Big Brother because I wanted to give back," says Scott. "I've had so many people help me when I was growing up, and I wanted to give back. I believe in not just taking when others give, but in giving back."

 

Scott's relationship with 14 year-old Talyn allows him to do just that, give back, but also have fun at the same time. Scott is able to teach Talyn life lessons, to help him grow and to have fun together.

 

Talyn likes having Scott in his life, a positive male role model, that he can learn from and spend time with.

Former Little Brother Steve Kogan matched to Big Brother Marv Wasserman in 1966

 

I'll never forget my first visit at Big Brothers office in Phoenix over 32 years ago. I can still picture the offices and Mr. Star who introduced my mother and I to my new big brother Marv Wasserman. I was 7 or barely 8 at the time, and as Marv describes, scared to death. That's the way I remember the meeting as well.

 

It didn't take long before we were best friends. Marv spent almost every Saturday with me. We sailed, fished and worked in Marv's wood shop making different projects. Marv loved to quiz me with times tables and division flash cards. I'm pretty handy today and I can even tie and bait a fishhook. My sailing skills are fair at best and my math is well, nevermind. Marv taught me how to mow a lawn when I was really little. These things may seem incidental and unimportant on the surface but I'm here today 41 years old with responsibilities, a business, a successful marriage, my own tools, and I still mow the lawn.

 

Marv's zest for life has spilled into my own and we are still best friends. Although a match officially ends by the 18 birthday of the Little, Marv and I still consider ourselves a current match. As the oldest Little Brother, I am also a long-term case study. My hope is that people can see the long-term success of take a little time to make a difference.

 

It's been almost twenty years since my association with Big Brothers Big Sisters has enriched my life. I've had the privilege of being a Big Sister to four young girls. Each match has had its issues and challenges, but the love and growth that impacted my life, and that of my Littles, has been rewarding beyond measure. I am grateful for the life lessons I've learned from each of my Little Sisters.

 

Recently, my first Little Sister told me she never realized what an impact I had on her life until our match ended and her life went into a tailspin. As she was trying to get her life back on track, she said she relied heavily on many of the things I had taught her. When we reunited, a few years ago, she thanked me for helping to shape her life, giving her opportunities and experiences she never would have had as a child, and just being a stable presence in her life. It's been a pleasure being a part of her life as well as her children's lives. Our continuing friendship that started over nineteen years ago is a reflection of our "sisterhood" and a testimony to the power of mentoring.

 

 

The mental game of life can be compared to the mental game on the field. To succeed and win there must be an effective coach.

 

A coach is one that finds ways to expand and improve on one's technique and continues to monitor the ability, as well as building confidence. A coach provides opportunities for learning situations that improves one's game. An effective coach defines boundaries, listens and then provides feedback to assist in promoting success in an individual. A coach does not control the relationship with a player. They form a partnership and assist each other in making good decisions. This enhances my self-esteem and builds competency.

 

John, my life coach has all the qualifications of a great coach. He monitors my performance and ability. One time John and I were out at Four Peaks four wheeling together. We were having so much fun until I got stuck in a ditch and was unable to get out. John quickly came to the rescue and helped me out of the ditch without hesitation. He knew exactly what he was doing. This made me realize that he will always be there for me in times of struggle.

 

He helps me maintain a healthy physical and mental condition by playing sports at the YMCA and constantly being there when I need him. My life coach helps me set goals and assists me in paying attention to those goals so that one day I will be something great. We together invested in a Scott Trade Account, with help, John teaches me to make financial decisions. He monitors the intensity in which I do everything. He helps me stay focused and unaffected by the negative behavior of others. He has instilled an unshakable, positive, and confident attitude within me. He initiates and models good habits for which I follow.